Never Pure And Innocent
by Neko-chan -Silvered Tongue
Summary: What was going on in the mind of Vegeta as Babidi was slowly taking him over? What was he feeling? Hurt? Anger? Pain? [Companion fic to Lena's "Impossible".]


Never Pure and Innocent

By: Neko-chan

Disclaimer: Do I look like Akira Toriyama?................Okie, you can stop laughing now. To answer the question: NO, I don't. Therefore, it can be concluded that I am NOT Akira Toriyama, and I do not own DB/Z/GT. So now suing Neko-chan!! ;P Oh, and there will be a companion fic to this written by the wonderful Lena! *waves*

  
  
  
  


"Be pure and innocent, Vegeta!"

  
  


Pure and innocent? The Supreme Kai's words rang through my mind. Pure and innocent.........how dare he tell me to be pure and innocent?! How DARE he?!

  
  


"I am no innocent......." I manage to gasp between the throbs of pain shooting through my head. The pain becomes almost unbearable, but I have to overcome it. I must.

How could anyone even think about telling me to be innocent, after all of the horrible things that I've done over the years? All of the pain that I caused, all of the innocents that I slaughtered........I have children's blood on my hands; I would never consider being pure and innocent, not after I murdered them in cold blood.

The pain intensifies and it shoots through my head, pounding a rhythm matching my heart's beat. I want to scream, but I still must hold on........I must fight that bastard, I must........ The tempo increases, and I scream in agony. I sense that the others want to help me, what can they possibly do for me?

The blood of many stain my hands. I will never be able to wash it away. I must carry their deaths, their accusing eyes, for the rest of my life. Their weight pulls me down, but I carry it gladly. There is no other way.........

Babidi is winning........I can feel myself slipping. No matter how hard I fight, I know that my resolve will lose in the end. I know it, with all of my being; I know it with everything I am. I will lose this battle, become a willing slave.....once again.

Their faces begin to flash in front of me.............their wide, haunted eyes staring at me accusingly. The people that I murdered----whole planets and civilizations that I destroyed. And then, it was then that they appeared to me..........my kin, my people. Murdered oh-so-long-ago by that evil monster, Freeza. They look at me in reproach--in hatred.

Who am I to call Freeza a monster, when I'm a monster greater than him? At least he freely admitted his evilness, his cruelty. I hid behind someone stronger than myself----blaming all of my actions on my Master.

But I was aware of what I was doing all along. I was aware of their screams as I sent them to Hell. 

So how dare the Supreme Kai tell me to be pure and innocent, when I have the blood of children dripping from my hands......their crimson blood staining all that I touch. How dare he.........

I'm losing, I know I am. Babidi is slowly taking control of me. But, for some reason, I still fight. Why? Why do I still fight when I know that it is a hopeless cause?

'You've changed, Vegeta. You know you have. That's why you fight against Babidi. You don't want to be evil anymore. Remember the deaths that you caused.........and accept it. Let their deaths not be in vane! Continue fighting, Vegeta..............continue,' Kakarot's voice echoed through my mind, his words touching something deep within myself.

I raise my eyes and stare into those bottomless obsidian black eyes. There is concern; friendship, even. And power. So much power...............

Power that I'll never have.

And so I gave up. I allowed myself to be controlled. I'm sorry........but sometimes, people don't change. Sometimes, the stay the same. This is one of those times..........and I'm one of those people.

I could feel the M forming on my forehead, branding me as Babidi's. An old emotion washes over me as this happens................shame.

The power began to fill me, making me stronger and stronger. But still...........still not enough. And so, in the end, I still wasn't strong enough. I betrayed the trust, the friendship give to me........but it didn't matter, anyway. I was still weaker than Kakarot. In the end, it didn't even matter..........

I'm sorry; so sorry............


End file.
